Mrs Premise is Head of the Finger Eric Idle Dept at Mrs Peignoir's Dominance & Submission Batley Town House of Disturbed But Still Alright Idle-Handed Sluts.

Aged 12, she's in charge with all the fields of research dealing with extatic admiration, empty superlatives, idiot screaming, exclamation marks and teenage lust. She keeps a goldfish named Eric in a bowl and a dirkmacquickly named Dirk in a box pierced with holes, and feeds both of them lettuce and candy everyday. Not really into philosophy but a specialist in grovelling and a real hard-worker except at school, she collects the raw Eric Idle materials essential to her colleague's work, but doesn't think much of Mrs Conclusion : " She's an old hag ", she says.

Mrs Premise will bring you tiny rare facts, blurred rare pictures, insipid hagiography, snickering gossip and, more generally, everything a sensible person doesn't need to know about Eric Idle. A nice little chick, but a bugger when she's pissed.